your life starts when you know better about it

Do we have a choice in life all the time?

2008-10-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

You never get to choose.
You follow the way your boss works.....
You listen to your mom and dad although you don't feel the way they feel....
You cry out even when you want to hold them so badly......
You still hang out even you know it's not right.....
You still drink when you know your body cannot take it anymore......
You still smoke when you know your lung will become black.......
You still wake up in the morning, early even you know how much you want to skip working......
You still eat the usual amount even you know your jeans can't fit anymore.....
You still swipe even you are sill carrying unecessary debts.....
You still call or text even you know clearly he belongs to someone else.....
You still not go to sleep even your body has sent you many red signals.....
You still live in the past even you pretend to enjoy what you have now and do not care about the past.........

We always have a choice. But do we always utilise the apportunity?
Nope. Then we messed up.
Then we try. Try to move on.
If we fail, we pretend we're happy.
If we success, we won't even remember.

And.....I have a choice, still.
So, let's make a right choice, at least once, at least for once in my lifetime.

Cambodia (delayed 1)

2008-09-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

A late.....delayed post......the 1st one...
A Tea House in Cambodia....
Very comfortable.....
That was really a very lazy
afternoon.
Lazy and cosy.....

The Restaurant in the new shopping mall in Cambodia..........

A mixture of sushis and shabu-shabu....

It feels like the crossover of
Johnny's and Sakae Sushi.

Work and Home at Cambodia............

2008-09-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

The Limkokwing

Cambodia campus.........

When everybody's at work..........

When everybody's at home..........

Though they're the same people you see more than 20 hours.........(only in Limkokwing)

but I still love them althought it sucks sometimes at work.........

hehe......

It's all about love.....although u've moved on

2008-09-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

It’s all about love.
Stay. Is to keep your love one.
Leave. Is to protect your love one.
When I thought I could stay, I was asked to leave.
When I was leaving, no one understood how much I wanted to stay.
During the period after I left, I wanted to turn back.
Passed the period of thinking of turning back, I never look back.
It’s love that makes one fall, fall devastatingly.
It’s love that brings one back, back toughly.

Leave when you can, not when asked to.
Stay when you can, not when asked to.
To keep yourself being loved by your own.
Not to keep your love one to keep loving you.
We believe if one really loves another one, nothing can ever change the love.

In the final chapter of the book, the happy ending is all up to own precision.
Buy our own time, use our own creativity to change things that we don’t want to, but have to.
When we’ve tried our best in all, nothing can be blamed.
No one can blame us too.

Just go ahead with our instinct, and we’ll get what we deserve to get.
And it’ll all be just about love again that keeps us moving till the end.
It’s all about love.

Dark secrets.....

2008-09-21T04:40:00.000-07:00

Dark secrets.......everyone has their own dark secrets......definitely there’ll be at least one.....

For me, I have a number of them.....some I keep for good reasons.....the others...hmmm.....not really that bad.......but dark secrets have got to be something bad I suppose......

Sometimes when I walk around.....it doesn’t matter in KL (where I work), in Ipoh (my hometown) or in Cambodia (for work trip) now.......I see people passing by, alone, in pairs, in groups......carrying the dark secrets with them.....as well as for me.....so it’s we, not them.......do we all have the right to judge each other?

In my view, I think the first question is............why don’t we support each other instead of judging each other?
Supporting each other makes everybody stronger.....on the other hand, by judging each other.....it’s only the matter of time of witnessing who fails faster.......Hence, why can’t we all show some support?

That’s where the dark secrets come in......it’s all because of the dark secrets we have deep down inside.....when one have something to hide, he or she will not reveal......when one doesn’t reveal........there’ll be no support......
And......we are also afraid that people will use the opportunity to bring us down..........once secrets divulged....and that’s where trust comes in......no support equals to no trust.......and these all lead to the fragile relationships now.....in all kinds of love.....your soul mate....your family.....your friends....your colleagues....even your pets.

Do we all have to continue suffering from the rat race which is getting worse nowadays?
Or.....should we start trusting each other to make the world a better place to live tomorrow?

I admit I am part of the contribution to the rat race.......but how come I don’t stop? Probably because I don’t want to feel isolated.....I don’t dare to be the outcast....or actually I have never make up my mind to make any changes.....

Confused.........but to comfort myself.....I think that’s the reason why I write this post.....maybe to remind myself or to aware the others.....or maybe just to pretend to be a reminder while I can put myself out of the picture....but at least I’m not one of the office zombies out there.....maybe this post will not be effective at all to the zombies especially.....but the minimum effect I try to create is to stop those at the same stage as I do to turn into a zombie.......

I don’t have to the courage and privilege to pull myself out of the rat race yet......but I do limit myself in the involvement......I will reduce......and reduce.....and reduce.....gently.....slowly.....when the time I find my pathway to finally settle down.......that’s the time I leave the rat race.

More places.......for Cambodia

2008-09-18T17:52:00.001-07:00

The Villa......the house I stay in Cambodia

The bars n restuarant down the street from the Villa.........

Liquid bar as well..........

Angkor Beer

-The national beer for Cambodia

'Tuk Tuk'

The office......Limkokwing Cambodia.........small but cosy..........

Less politics..........happier......

The Lounge........the usual Saturday hang-out spot...............

It's my day.....wateva I wan.........

2008-09-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

My day.....this post is about my day......
one of my nicest mood days......
no blues.....no sobs........
it's my day.....where sadness goes away.....
dreams come apart.......
drink as much of my favourite drinks as I can......
eat as much as I wan.....
share pleasure moments as much as I have......
care people who love me and I love as much as I care......
listen to things as much as I can take.....
buy stuff I've been longing to buy as much as I can afford.....
sleep as late as I feel like.......
perfect day.....

and.....at the same nite......it's winter warmers......
mixed fruits mocktail......blueberry milk tea.......
in one day........all my favourite spots.....
one fine day........wif lovable food and drinks......
lovable people.....lovable mood.......

after a stupidly filled-up stomach in dae jang gim,

it's Mcd bfaz to start another day.....!!!

Mcd.....Mcd.......esp the bfaz......always always

my favourite.....eventhough they raised their prices

like a thousand times

dae jang gim korean bbq at puchong.....

always on my list......

n always haf to come wif soju.....

another favourite starter----marinated spinach

manirated clams.....one of my favourites
korean cuisine starters........

Good combination....

2008-09-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

the landmark for Steven's.................

altot it took quite awile to arrive....

the quality's there 4 the

soft-boiled eggs.....

the toast was realy heart-and mind-melting......

free wi-fi and the history of the mamak in a modern Steven's......

one for the love birds......li jian n yi jun......

Steven's Tea Garden........hehe....the 1st time here....as wel before I headed to Cambodia now....my mom n my sis came down again......to help me wif the cleaning job....for my new room.......hahha......her one-day cleaning can easily outbeat my two-months realy cleaning.......so in return.....I brought them to Steven's Tea Garden......haha.....(juz becuz I wana try n c whether it's as nice as the Steven's Corner in Cheras).......the cheese naan was so great when I first tried.....highly recommended by Dennis.....but dissapointedly, no naan is served in this upgraded version mamak in Sunway Pyramid......kinda weird....cuz it's unhealthy to not have ur signature dish....

Had a great time wif my mum, 2 sisters, li jian n yi jun......1stime hanging out together actualy....wonderful combination.....long chat.....the pleasure exchanging was jz fine n nice.........plus the food......8 out of 10

the maharaja teh tarik......filled wif spices......the nasi lemak rendang.....as tasty as the one i had in cheras......the fried kuay teow wif deep fried squid....my favourite......the indian salad wif yoghurt.......too small.....not enof..........the soft-boiled eggs n kaya butter toast.........gives me a morning feeling altot had them at nite..........

when nice people hang out 2gether....diferen ages....diferen backgrounds.......at a new place......still make a good combination........things differ all the time.....it just depends on how you see things...........i wana see things from different angles in future......in everything hopefully

Botswana or Cambodia?

2008-09-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

Tot dat I'm flying to Botswana......rushed to renew my passport........during my working hours.....hehe.....so I've got the chance to sneak to One Utama.......tried a restaurant opposite Friday's.....a Hong Kong restaurant.......ordered all my favorite dishes

For sure not enof for me........ntg's ever enof for me...........spent the afternoon wif Yuan Tack....including a wanna-be-Oldtown koptiam coffee shop.........in SS2............

When you get left behind...........then you realise.......actualy there are many other ppl.........haha.....jz we always realise too slow......too slow

When my family was here.....before I headed to Cambodia........

2008-09-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Breakfast at Coffee Bean (one of my favourite cafes)......great poppyseed bagel wif cream cheese......B'Oday (the toasted pannini's always melts my heart when I have it wwif the breakfast brew)......focaccia wif smoked salmon n egg (my sister's favorite)

When my family was here in August.......it really brought back lots of memories....

got to really appreciate them....when will be the next time all of us having such a good time...such a great weekend.....a moment of argument.....a moment of silence.....a moment of happiness.....

When I was a kid....for sure never think of too much....never ask for more money when they gave enough....never wanna run away from them.......never think of how long-winded they are....

When I grow......I ask for too much when I was given more than enough.....always wanna stay apart from hanging out with them.......always hate talking to them for more than a minute.......

When I work......I never have time to sit down and think about how much I was given......always say I wanna spend time wif them but constantly fail.....always say my cellphone battery's running low when they call.........

When they come.....when I see more wrinkles on my mom's face.....less hair on my dad's head.....haha....I know......we're always chasing time.....always running out of time.......never too late to start....but always too late when you start......

La Bodega Pavilion.....cosmopolitan, Mojito, Kunig Luwig beer.......three of us.........hehe

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a secondchance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.

John King eggtarts

(green tea, double milk custard, coffee n classic)

plus Toast Box coffee n milk tea.....

close to orgasm......hehe

The fondue........was not realy dat good.........

not enof ice-cream though.............

Crystal Jade Kitchen Lot 10.......ooooo...the fried steam buns......pan-fried carrot cake.......glutinous rice ball wif rice wine soup.....steamed dumplings....chilled vinegar pork feet.........red bean banana crepe.......argghhhhh...........miss those Chinese dim sum

Here we are in Cambodia............

2008-09-14T10:59:00.001-07:00

Your life starts when you have better people in better place..........and it always happens at the right time......when you thought everything is falling apart.............something will pull you back..............dat's life

The Riverside House & Liquid Bar

2008-09-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

Beef skewer wif amazing fries......

Liquid.........

Fish Amok.....

the Khmer specialty..........

.in Liquid too.......

Pineapple fried rice......

at Liquid (we go there at

least 3 times a week)

The Riverside House-----

grilled tiger prawns wif pasta...........

hmmmm.......v nice...

The Riverside House-------

creamy pasta wif grilled salmon............

12 dollars..............

(Along the Riverside, which is really along the riverside.......the restaurants there are more expensive.....but worth it........)

ooooo.........Cambodia...............is..............awesome!!!!There's how my weight got gained here.............my face is like a full moon now.....basically this post is like a comic strip.....hehe

ME AND MY CAMBODIA..............(Liquid Bar & The Riverside House)

2008-09-10T04:31:00.000-07:00

2nd part.....only releases in September......aih.....

work's hectic here in Cambodia.....not as easy as thought.....but life's better here.....can know through my fresh add-on beer belly........the truth is i prefer here.....only without the gym which i'm paying every month but not going......on the other hand, gaining fat.............

2nd part of coffee...............

Cafe Fresco......opens daily from 7am-7pm........Corner of street 306, Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
Available for home/office delivery.........(lies)

Very very very suitable for lazy Sundays brunches.........nice place.......nearby....just down the street from the place I stay......it's realy nice.........filled with things that I like.........all-in-one...............

All-in-one.......life is always like that........comes in packages.....that's how we manage business......let undecisive people choose, but at the same time make the undecisive people's lives harder cuz then they're spoilt wif choices.......
ironic..........

Back to Fresco, what else is so great about it?
2nd home to me......too serious........hmmmm......a place i always wana go and read my book there with drinks i drink more than 3 cups a day..........add-on-----------------recently have gained a sweet tooth..............the cakes n pastries.....irresistable....amazingly loving the ice-cream here too....and blended drinks which are always my 2nd choice......but surprisingly they are awesome........in conclusion....full of great surprises.......din let me down....except for the price of course.......the damn USD.........

Stuff that I've tried here in Fresco.......

Cafe Latte (my all-time-favourite)--------I miss Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
Flat white (sometimes I order)----------I wanna have changes sometimes
Mango Haven (very rare order from my list)------------I wanna have more changes
Iced Lemon Mint tea (only when I have severe sore throat and when it's warm)-------I'm having a bad day
Fresh tomato, red capsicum, celery & spices juice (when I realise crisis low level of veggie in my body)------------I can't go to the toilet
Iced Cafe Latte (another all-time-favourite when it's warm)---------I need to cool down
Iced blended caramel (when I share)----------I need sugar, lack of love
Long Black (only with sweet stuff or toast)---------Too much sugar the nite before
Mocha latte (when asked to try, cuz mocha is always a recommendation by the barista)------I have my throat in perfect condition and need chocolate and caffeine at the same time
Hot mint tea (maybe my second drink when I'm having sore throat)--------I wanna have a peace of my mind
Milkshakes (when I'm with kids)-------I wanna stay young forever
Tropical fruitshake/mocktails (when I'm on the beach, but not enough money to order alcohol)-----I wanna have the seaside mood
Freshly squeezed orange juice (side order for breakfast after coffee)-----it's part of the american breakfast
Fresh milk (part of breakfast too)------can't break the american breakfast rules
Soy milk (mostly in my hometown, Ipoh)------when I'm having chinese fried dough or sticky rice
Espresso (never my order)-------I go mad or 5 cups of latte cannot satisfy anymore
Double Espresso (another no no on the list)---------My hands start shaking even I gulped 5 espresso

*still classified under coffee chapter (2) because they're all from Cafe Fresco, which serves perfect flat whites.....and I din mention about the food in this post.

Cambodia (3)

2008-08-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hmmm......how to start this 1?

I drank on Fri nite.....again.....but this 1 is realy.....hmmm...bad....
Asahi beer, 3 killing Cosmopolitans,Moet champagne, Singapore Sling, whisky.....
Gone.....Sat morning was realy realy sick......puked basically everything dat I put into my stomach.....

But after a long sleep after half-day work, it gets better......ehehehheee...
Self-control, dats what I'm lack of and need to realy learn about it and change.....

Change.....if I can......how I wish I could.....I would'nt have want to make any changes.....
But when one grows, changes actually are already happening....each and every day....

Being in Cambodia, working in a different environment, talking to more new people.....
make me feel realy smal......the world is juz...........so big......so many more things are there, waiting for you to discover them........and when I looked back at all the silly things dat I've done, I realy feel bad......feel bad of realising and growing so slow.......

Sometimes I juz feel dat...why can't we grow up faster?
Why can't we realise before we realise it's too late to realise?
Why can't we do things that we wun regret in future?
Why can't we juz live happily ever after?

This trip.....actualy is kinda a run-away trip.....sometimes we juz need to runaway....and miss the people ard you....so when u find urself tired alredi......u'll come home and look for the right people for treatment.....it's like a package....now my stage is a treatment stage.......

Searching for more.....waiting for more.....hope for more......I know we can't be greedy all the time.....and sadly, I am a greedy person....I always want to do realy a lot of things in my life....and honestly, I'm a person who's never satisfied wif my life.....always wanted more and more and more............

Maybe dats how I create more problems which I dun even realise and for sure, duno how to solve them.

Dats y I said yes to this trip once I was told.............clear your mind and go on.....
I'm already half way there.....but the time I come home, it would be realy gone.....realy.....things are realy gona be all settled......and gone.......

This is the period I gave myself...........dun take too much time.....as life's realy short....dun stop a t a point for too long before u realise it's a waste of time.

As long as I know I'm still breathing, I can still chase for things I want..........
Everything, I want to start it now.....
I don't want to do things that I'll regret again....noy anymore.........

Hence, changes is what I need now..............
If I can do this, nothing can be harder....I suppose............hehe

Even now, here, I got the chance to watch Grey's Anatomy season 4....hehe....continue my crying and sobbing over the episodes....sounds so silly.....these are the things which I dun wana change.....can't change being emotional I gues...........it's not good and healthy to change too much.....cuz then it's not you anymore...........

Keep breathing.....and goodbye to the people once I realy loved.............
My life's getting better.....I believe God knows.....God knows when's the time to offer you the chance when all bad things come together.....it's whether u take it a try or not......

You take it, get over it, you win.
You miss it, ruin it, you lose.

Here we go again, I always wana to win, there's where the greedy personality comes in......
Hehehhheee.....

Even the last phone call, I couldn't help shedding my tears, then I know I'm not fully okay..........
Hope the run-away is gona work out......

Live an inspirational life.........dats wat I want now.......so I'm gonna do this n make sure no regrets......

*Try to listen to this track, it realy helps......for me...it works all the time.
Ingrid Michaelson-Keep Breathing

Cambodia (2)

2008-08-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

Yeap...quite enjoyable...Cambodia is really quite nice...hehe....am v lazy and unsurprisingly, i havent unpack.

The first person I called once I reached was my mum....cuz I was worried abt her regarding the loss of my grandma. That's life anyway and life's a bitch.She's in Penang now....the funeral's gona be on Sat...

The house got 4 floors.....got plasma tv and dvd player in the living room....big fridgethe property here is more expensif than australia......bcuz the wealth gap is wide. But the food is expensif....cuz they use dollars...even street food is expensif....beers are cheap 55cents in the store.....1-2 dollars in the clubs & bars....cocktails are like 3.50....wine a bottle is like 20-40......whiskey is like 50......its good price.

Havent tried the local food yet....plenty of time...wang ji is here n he'll bring me around cuz he tried a lot of street food.....although most of them are dirty....but trying is for sure a must.

The groceries are expensif too....but haf to stock up sum healthy stuf in the fridge....cuz the coffee part.....really cant cut down but try to drink more water....coffee to start the day, alcohol to end the day.

They haf 'tuk tuk' here as wel.....or motorbike rides (it works like a cab, but on a bike)......tuk tuk normaly 2-3dollars......motobike 50cents.....dare not take dat 1.....kinda scary....but wangji the explorer always take dat and even go to the chinese market to buy food....roasted duck fried rice....i gues its gona b v easy for me 2 gain weight here.....its realy fun sumtimes.....cuz the surroundings are totaly diferen....

Angkor Watt...yeah.....planning 4 the trip.....but the flight tics are not cheap i heard its like 1k for both.......n if take bus its 5 hours!!!!mayb more than dat...im not gona do dat.....i might extend my trip......den im gona haf my bday here....its both happy and sad.

Cambodia (1)

2008-08-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

Except for the dirty and messy roads, this place actualy turns out better than my expectations.

1st thing, for sure I arrive safely, the flight is 2 hours plus, 1 hour time difference....earn another hour here.....hehe....Air Asia.....every1 can fly.......now it's realy every1 can fly.....!!!The seats are sucky.....tight and smal.....and we sat the last rows because.....every1 can fly......the people wil gif u a look like-"hey, im here 1st...."...dats how we got the last row seats...

From airport, Emm and the girls picked us up.They din bring a cardboard for sure.....they spotted us right after we landed...brilliant.

The food here is good.....a lot of nice and decent restaurants.....a place called "Riverside"....many high-end spas.....great cafes....The buildings are beautiful too.....

Working hours here are crazy.....it's 9-9.....cuz the students haf classes from 9 til 9........

The place we're staying is called "The House".....it's really nice....a nice bungalow with a guard and 2 maids....They make breakfast for you......open the door for you...wait 4 you to come home......laz nite the 1st nite we went drinking.....realy crazy....drank a lot

At the mean time, Im sharing a room wif Emm....cuz it's packed.....a few ppl came by and stayed....but it's fun though....but it's big....with a big bath tub sumore.....maids doin laundry 4 us......is realy a bonus wif aircon, water heater,housekeeping.....it's like realy like working working.....n the essential part is when the driver prepares few different dailies for you before you get into the car......dat realy enahnces the working feeling.

The people here is nice and humble.....learning marketing here....Im fine wif it....to counsel students.....and recruit them.Am picking up al the courses in my mind....they're leting me handle a project as a co-ordinator for the intake day.....its gona be haywire....but guess they'll support me....guess ppl wants to 'train'me......

Hang-out Archive (2)

2008-08-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Hang-out Archive (2)

Dennis, Jolene and I at the Onitsuka Tiger Electric Night Party, Zouk KL

Only 1 free drink each......v v v not enough. (1st picture)

Karaoke maniacs.....till 5 in the morning.

In conclusion, Victor is the all-time-favourite K partner. (2nd picture)

Hang-out archive (1)

2008-08-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hang-out Archive (1)

Hops and Grapes with Sophia.........

Sophia and her drink......Hops and Grapes

(Wed nite-Ladies nite)

(Free flow of drinks)

Hence, we ordered..........only food..........

Sophia's steak.....v nice.....

My smoked salmon sandwich......my all-time favourite

Hehe......satisfied....hope another hops and grapes hang-out-nite's gona cum soon......

Have been there twice with Sophia.....both nites are free-flow nites....really love it....

But recently, due to UNFORSEE CIRCUMSTANCES (all the time), can't really go.

Coffee................1 (Latte)

2008-08-19T02:12:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started this blog, my life started to get busier and busier......

I'm gonna post things and PICTURES later.....in a wrap......hehe.....am a lazy person.....still can't pick up the habit to blog at least.....every other day......but this time...its gona be a topic.....a "feature".....wannabe feature writer....hehe

This post is about-------coffee!!!!

I name this post "Coffee...............1", hope to blog more....like chapters....like life.....

I have different perception for latte art.

My Latte Art (for now)

A glass of hot latte...with pinch of brown sugar or a pump of caramel after lunch or in the morning...is really like heaven to me, especially raining afternoons.

For hot afternoons, it has to be iced latte, without sugar.....less ice.....hehe

For really good mood afternoons, the lattes are always sweeter......

The Latte Art

My latte....always comes with at least some brown sugar.....or vanilla....or caramel......

After the incident, my latte is always without sugar now...........

Sounds so sad, hmmm.......on the other hand, I can take things which are bitter, tougher.....am stronger...........

I don't like to change.....always so wanted to stay at my own comfort zone.

Stay spoilt.

Stay sleepy.

Stay drunk.

Stay lazy.

Stay forgetful.

Stay being selfish.

Love is like coffee........

When you're at the beginning stage, pick flavoured latte.

They have vanilla, caramel, green tea, mocha, hazelnut, butterscotch......

You are at the starting point, so you are always choosing.

When you're in love, it's ice-blended.

You'll take all the good and bad of your the other half......

Blend everything, sweet and cold.

When you're jealous, cappuccino.

The bitterness is there, with lots of foam.....

You need to finish the foam to get the coffee......it's what you always do when you try to dig the truth in jealousy.

When you found bad things, macchiato.

The trust gets less.......starting to fight.

Haven't break up, there's still some milk.

When you fight, it's americano or long black.

The milk goes away, you need the bitterness, but a the same time, you need water.

When you just break up, espresso.

The bittest for the hardest.

A coffee version of tequila shot.

When you are recovering, it goes back to latte, but plain latte.

You get the milk back, but the sweetness goes away, no flavour at the moment.

When you reach another searching stage, it might go back to flavoured latte........or it will go to tea....

Hmmm.......hehe.......

That's why I love coffee so much.........

*to be continued...

Sometimes

2008-08-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes....a song can wake ur old memories up......
Sometimes....a cup of coffee can make your memories unforgettable.....

And sometimes......when I look back.....I think I've gained a lot....and lost a lot too....

And also sometimes........I start to feel there's a need to be healthy and seriously.....lose some weight.

Hence I went to the gym....to.....hehe....try to be healthy.....and lose weight.....

the gym-California, Sunway Pyramid

Hope this gym workout thingy's not gonna be juz somtimes.......

After the "short"gym workout, did a really quick shopping at Jusco where Dennis even had to help me pay and fetched me the purchases cuz I was late for dinner with Jolene, grabbed a quick dinner at a Korean restaurant at Pyramid, called "No Bul"................the kimchi fried rice was not good.......and not cheap though......juz vege and rice......RM14......nothing interesting..............

And the whole dinner was filled with nagging........a naggy rushing dissapointing dinner.

Sometimes, I wonder why I have to have naggy dinners....but sometimes there are many questions which cannot be answered..........and be solved, of course.

Later on, "Mummy 3".........at 10.30pm, managed to catch a movie,the whole day schedule was really packed. The movie was okay.....no surprises......certain parts a bit slow.......

"Mummy 3"

Spent a night at Ridwana & Zahir's place, due to the warmness recently, I slept on the couch.

It was comfortable though.....but slept late....after having a session with them while watching late night news....it's a packed but different Monday.

Try

2008-08-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

Today, I tried to try finish things that I was supposed to finish ages ago. I did some laundry......n did some unpacking......it's been almost 2 months I moved to this new place.....hmmm.....yeah.....almost 2 months.

So, if I can do some every night, then it should be done before my mom arrives.......my mom...frankly, I miss her.....hoping to see my family this weekend....we all love Ikea....hence Ikea it is....the place we're gonna spend our Sunday.....

Back to the cleaning part, until now, 11 plus....since afternoon.....my place is still a mess......but I managed to tidy some parts.......the tidy ones.........

some clothes

work clothes

Actually there are more.....lying in bags........some are on my bed.....some on the floor....

more clothes.....

some in the bags..........................
some other stuff.......

I decided not to show all............

It's like a hall of fame actually.....will continue the hardwork tmr.......hope so.

Another successful thing that I've done today is finish watching a HK drama-"Speech of Silence" which I love the theme song very much. After watching this drama, I realise even more things in life......but drop the realising part, guess my 1st post has covered enough of those......

"Speech of Silence"

Cast: Kate Tsui, Kenneth Ma, Chris Lai Lok Yi, Claire Yiu, Elaine Yiu, Kingdom Yuen

Episode: 20

Producer: Tsui Yue On

Scriptwriter: Ng Shiu Tung & Tsui Tze Shan

Synopsis

Taste the bittersweet, breathe the love.Read my mind between silence and sound.
TONG TONG (Kate Tsui) loses part of her hearing in an accident but she has a positive attitude towards life and she knows how to take good care of others. With the support of her mentor KO MING (Yue Yeung), TONG becomes a voice over talent by utilizing her lip reading ability and she meets another voice talent LEUNG KAI YIN (Kenneth Ma) who also has keen interest in the industry. YIN is fond of the leading voice actress YUEN SIU NA (Claire Yiu) and he asks TONG to be his matchmaker. TONG suffers from a lack of confidence to exhibit her love to YIN so she prefers to help achieve his wish.
YIN and TONG soon become the famous couple of the industry and their career grows swiftly. However, TONG’s younger sister CHAI KA YEE (Elaine Yiu) suddenly commits suicide after losing her love. In order to rescue YEE, TONG loses her hearing completely. YEE is deeply ashamed for causing the tragedy and CHEUNG YAU (Chris Lai) consoles her whole-heartedly. After the trauma, TONG abandons herself completely and she hides away from everybody including YIN. During the time, MING’s voice over team suddenly breaks up and YIN is the only person staying behind. MING is helpless and he urges TONG to return.

It's a nice drama....short and sweet.....and the ending is good but in a way, it's cynical.....not Hollywood style......my next mission to be accomplished.....Sex n the City......done with season 1 & 2, hope 2 finish the 3rd season after I get my DVD player.....very soon.

the dvd was put aside cuz the DVD player is not here yet...

In conclusion, rarely,a Sunday at home........with some achievements.....and some happiness.
Cuz I did try.

Realise

2008-08-01T03:59:00.000-07:00

I always feel that, taste is the stairway to happiness. That's why I love to eat.....and for sure drink.

My meal doesn't have to always comes with a drink, but an after-drink is always a necessity. The drink is either coffee or wine, or both. When I wanna get more awake when I'm awake, it's coffee......when I wanna get more sleepy when I'm sleepy, it's gonna be wine....

Or put it in another way, coffee comes in the morning and work and whenever I don't have enough money for alcohol at night......where wine is always always for nights...lonely nights, sobbing nights, gathering nights, emotional nights, peaceful nights, grateful nights......

Recently, I realise pretty much things that I never realise before. I realise that I've been putting too many important people behind, those who really love and care about me....many essential things are left behind too......my leisure pursuit especially.......

However, I think I'm a very sensitive person....only when it comes to certain situation.....special situation. Which means, most of the time, still, I'm very careless. I used to leave a whole page of questions out for my exam once just because I didn't flip through the particular page. I used to forget the date I got together with my ex, even for my ex best friend's birthday.....and even mixing up my own birthday celebrations venues for a few years.

Though I'm aware of the blurness and carelessness, I always still voice out LOUDLY how sure I am right in front of the others. I was spoilt, not with choices, but with people. People who once made me believe that we're all gonna live and die together, grow old together, maybe can even stay together after I get married. I guess that's why I was devastated when I started to realise..........really realise.....

There's when and where I started to realise I have to start realising......to pack up my life.

After the incident when I was drunk, things changed.....from A to Z. To pick up, it's really heavy, really heavy, and now.....still picking up the leftovers. Memories still hit me in my dreams, when I wake up in the mornings, before I sleep, when I look out from the window.

Yeah, packing up and picking up do make me stronger. I think I'm stronger, not about the shallow tears, but by having stronger relationships with people who provide me stronger feeling and trust.

Shallow tears, it doesn't mean that you're not strong....it's just about the art of shedding tears.....even when I watch Grey's Anatomy.....about this....the ending part of Season 3....without exaggerating.....I've watched it close to a hundred times....and cried everytime.....but then, later I realised the saddest part is not the ending, whereas is a small part before the ending which is the saddest....the part where a girlwho woke up memories lost n undergo a massive plastic surgery for recovery thought that she doesn't have any1 in her life, no one comes to look for her.....no identity because her previous face was unrecognised.......till a surgical intern gives her a new identity, builds her confidence......n the husband appears....she refuses to go back..... she chooses to stay with the new identity.....leaving the husband behind although her memories then come back. But, the intern, with doubts, turns her down. To me, that's very sad.....cuz when you thought you've already ready, you packed up and left all your doubts behind to make your stand, he then abandons it. Just because he said so.

Throughout the part, where I believe I'll still cry in the future......countless times....now and then, I learn to appreciate. Be grateful, be thankful......cuz at least, I have the others.

Got to admit, all these years, this is so far the hardest time in my life. My car, in the workshop for almost half a year, after getting it back....due to my carelessness again, it's back to the workshop. But then, I realise something new again.

I know there's nothing anymore, between us, and we don't, cannot and never will care about each other anymore. Always thought it would be harder for him, it won't be me, but obviously, it turns out not. Something, deep down, deep down inside, is still healing.

Hope it's gonna be like a factory where there's always a due date for the products......so since the product is abandoned before it's finished and before it's expired, we'll jus sit and wait till the expiry date comes....and then it'll for sure has to be thrown away. Cuz now, even I know, it's disposed, it's still within the expiry date, and that's why, I'll wait, till it gets better in time.