Cambodia (3)

Hmmm......how to start this 1?

I drank on Fri nite.....again.....but this 1 is realy.....hmmm...bad....
Asahi beer, 3 killing Cosmopolitans,Moet champagne, Singapore Sling, whisky.....
Gone.....Sat morning was realy realy sick......puked basically everything dat I put into my stomach.....

But after a long sleep after half-day work, it gets better......ehehehheee...
Self-control, dats what I'm lack of and need to realy learn about it and change.....

Change.....if I can......how I wish I could.....I would'nt have want to make any changes.....
But when one grows, changes actually are already happening....each and every day....

Being in Cambodia, working in a different environment, talking to more new people.....
make me feel realy smal......the world is juz...........so big......so many more things are there, waiting for you to discover them........and when I looked back at all the silly things dat I've done, I realy feel bad......feel bad of realising and growing so slow.......

Sometimes I juz feel dat...why can't we grow up faster?
Why can't we realise before we realise it's too late to realise?
Why can't we do things that we wun regret in future?
Why can't we juz live happily ever after?

This trip.....actualy is kinda a run-away trip.....sometimes we juz need to runaway....and miss the people ard you....so when u find urself tired alredi......u'll come home and look for the right people for treatment.....it's like a package....now my stage is a treatment stage.......

Searching for more.....waiting for more.....hope for more......I know we can't be greedy all the time.....and sadly, I am a greedy person....I always want to do realy a lot of things in my life....and honestly, I'm a person who's never satisfied wif my life.....always wanted more and more and more............

Maybe dats how I create more problems which I dun even realise and for sure, duno how to solve them.

Dats y I said yes to this trip once I was told.............clear your mind and go on.....
I'm already half way there.....but the time I come home, it would be realy gone.....realy.....things are realy gona be all settled......and gone.......

This is the period I gave myself...........dun take too much time.....as life's realy short....dun stop a t a point for too long before u realise it's a waste of time.

As long as I know I'm still breathing, I can still chase for things I want..........
Everything, I want to start it now.....
I don't want to do things that I'll regret again....noy anymore.........

Hence, changes is what I need now..............
If I can do this, nothing can be harder....I suppose............hehe

Even now, here, I got the chance to watch Grey's Anatomy season 4....hehe....continue my crying and sobbing over the episodes....sounds so silly.....these are the things which I dun wana change.....can't change being emotional I gues...........it's not good and healthy to change too much.....cuz then it's not you anymore...........

Keep breathing.....and goodbye to the people once I realy loved.............
My life's getting better.....I believe God knows.....God knows when's the time to offer you the chance when all bad things come together.....it's whether u take it a try or not......

You take it, get over it, you win.
You miss it, ruin it, you lose.

Here we go again, I always wana to win, there's where the greedy personality comes in......
Hehehhheee.....

Even the last phone call, I couldn't help shedding my tears, then I know I'm not fully okay..........
Hope the run-away is gona work out......

Live an inspirational life.........dats wat I want now.......so I'm gonna do this n make sure no regrets......


*Try to listen to this track, it realy helps......for me...it works all the time.
Ingrid Michaelson-Keep Breathing

Cambodia (2)

Yeap...quite enjoyable...Cambodia is really quite nice...hehe....am v lazy and unsurprisingly, i havent unpack.

The first person I called once I reached was my mum....cuz I was worried abt her regarding the loss of my grandma. That's life anyway and life's a bitch.She's in Penang now....the funeral's gona be on Sat...

The house got 4 floors.....got plasma tv and dvd player in the living room....big fridgethe property here is more expensif than australia......bcuz the wealth gap is wide. But the food is expensif....cuz they use dollars...even street food is expensif....beers are cheap 55cents in the store.....1-2 dollars in the clubs & bars....cocktails are like 3.50....wine a bottle is like 20-40......whiskey is like 50......its good price.

Havent tried the local food yet....plenty of time...wang ji is here n he'll bring me around cuz he tried a lot of street food.....although most of them are dirty....but trying is for sure a must.

The groceries are expensif too....but haf to stock up sum healthy stuf in the fridge....cuz the coffee part.....really cant cut down but try to drink more water....coffee to start the day, alcohol to end the day.


They haf 'tuk tuk' here as wel.....or motorbike rides (it works like a cab, but on a bike)......tuk tuk normaly 2-3dollars......motobike 50cents.....dare not take dat 1.....kinda scary....but wangji the explorer always take dat and even go to the chinese market to buy food....roasted duck fried rice....i gues its gona b v easy for me 2 gain weight here.....its realy fun sumtimes.....cuz the surroundings are totaly diferen....

Angkor Watt...yeah.....planning 4 the trip.....but the flight tics are not cheap i heard its like 1k for both.......n if take bus its 5 hours!!!!mayb more than dat...im not gona do dat.....i might extend my trip......den im gona haf my bday here....its both happy and sad.

Cambodia (1)

Except for the dirty and messy roads, this place actualy turns out better than my expectations.

1st thing, for sure I arrive safely, the flight is 2 hours plus, 1 hour time difference....earn another hour here.....hehe....Air Asia.....every1 can fly.......now it's realy every1 can fly.....!!!The seats are sucky.....tight and smal.....and we sat the last rows because.....every1 can fly......the people wil gif u a look like-"hey, im here 1st...."...dats how we got the last row seats...


From airport, Emm and the girls picked us up.They din bring a cardboard for sure.....they spotted us right after we landed...brilliant.


The food here is good.....a lot of nice and decent restaurants.....a place called "Riverside"....many high-end spas.....great cafes....The buildings are beautiful too.....


Working hours here are crazy.....it's 9-9.....cuz the students haf classes from 9 til 9........


The place we're staying is called "The House".....it's really nice....a nice bungalow with a guard and 2 maids....They make breakfast for you......open the door for you...wait 4 you to come home......laz nite the 1st nite we went drinking.....realy crazy....drank a lot


At the mean time, Im sharing a room wif Emm....cuz it's packed.....a few ppl came by and stayed....but it's fun though....but it's big....with a big bath tub sumore.....maids doin laundry 4 us......is realy a bonus wif aircon, water heater,housekeeping.....it's like realy like working working.....n the essential part is when the driver prepares few different dailies for you before you get into the car......dat realy enahnces the working feeling.


The people here is nice and humble.....learning marketing here....Im fine wif it....to counsel students.....and recruit them.Am picking up al the courses in my mind....they're leting me handle a project as a co-ordinator for the intake day.....its gona be haywire....but guess they'll support me....guess ppl wants to 'train'me......

Hang-out Archive (2)

Hang-out Archive (2)

Dennis, Jolene and I at the Onitsuka Tiger Electric Night Party, Zouk KL

Only 1 free drink each......v v v not enough. (1st picture)

Karaoke maniacs.....till 5 in the morning.

In conclusion, Victor is the all-time-favourite K partner. (2nd picture)

Hang-out archive (1)

Hang-out Archive (1)

Hops and Grapes with Sophia.........

Sophia and her drink......Hops and Grapes

(Wed nite-Ladies nite)

(Free flow of drinks)

Hence, we ordered..........only food..........

Sophia's steak.....v nice.....

My smoked salmon sandwich......my all-time favourite

Hehe......satisfied....hope another hops and grapes hang-out-nite's gona cum soon......

Have been there twice with Sophia.....both nites are free-flow nites....really love it....

But recently, due to UNFORSEE CIRCUMSTANCES (all the time), can't really go.

Coffee................1 (Latte)

Ever since I started this blog, my life started to get busier and busier......

I'm gonna post things and PICTURES later.....in a wrap......hehe.....am a lazy person.....still can't pick up the habit to blog at least.....every other day......but this time...its gona be a topic.....a "feature".....wannabe feature writer....hehe

This post is about-------coffee!!!!

I name this post "Coffee...............1", hope to blog more....like chapters....like life.....

I have different perception for latte art.

My Latte Art (for now)

A glass of hot latte...with pinch of brown sugar or a pump of caramel after lunch or in the morning...is really like heaven to me, especially raining afternoons.

For hot afternoons, it has to be iced latte, without sugar.....less ice.....hehe

For really good mood afternoons, the lattes are always sweeter......

The Latte Art

My latte....always comes with at least some brown sugar.....or vanilla....or caramel......

After the incident, my latte is always without sugar now...........

Sounds so sad, hmmm.......on the other hand, I can take things which are bitter, tougher.....am stronger...........

I don't like to change.....always so wanted to stay at my own comfort zone.

Stay spoilt.

Stay sleepy.

Stay drunk.

Stay lazy.

Stay forgetful.

Stay being selfish.

Love is like coffee........

When you're at the beginning stage, pick flavoured latte.

They have vanilla, caramel, green tea, mocha, hazelnut, butterscotch......

You are at the starting point, so you are always choosing.

When you're in love, it's ice-blended.

You'll take all the good and bad of your the other half......

Blend everything, sweet and cold.

When you're jealous, cappuccino.

The bitterness is there, with lots of foam.....

You need to finish the foam to get the coffee......it's what you always do when you try to dig the truth in jealousy.

When you found bad things, macchiato.

The trust gets less.......starting to fight.

Haven't break up, there's still some milk.

When you fight, it's americano or long black.

The milk goes away, you need the bitterness, but a the same time, you need water.

When you just break up, espresso.

The bittest for the hardest.

A coffee version of tequila shot.

When you are recovering, it goes back to latte, but plain latte.

You get the milk back, but the sweetness goes away, no flavour at the moment.

When you reach another searching stage, it might go back to flavoured latte........or it will go to tea....

Hmmm.......hehe.......

That's why I love coffee so much.........

*to be continued...

Sometimes

Sometimes....a song can wake ur old memories up......
Sometimes....a cup of coffee can make your memories unforgettable.....


And sometimes......when I look back.....I think I've gained a lot....and lost a lot too....

And also sometimes........I start to feel there's a need to be healthy and seriously.....lose some weight.

Hence I went to the gym....to.....hehe....try to be healthy.....and lose weight.....

the gym-California, Sunway Pyramid

Hope this gym workout thingy's not gonna be juz somtimes.......

After the "short"gym workout, did a really quick shopping at Jusco where Dennis even had to help me pay and fetched me the purchases cuz I was late for dinner with Jolene, grabbed a quick dinner at a Korean restaurant at Pyramid, called "No Bul"................the kimchi fried rice was not good.......and not cheap though......juz vege and rice......RM14......nothing interesting..............

And the whole dinner was filled with nagging........a naggy rushing dissapointing dinner.

Sometimes, I wonder why I have to have naggy dinners....but sometimes there are many questions which cannot be answered..........and be solved, of course.

Later on, "Mummy 3".........at 10.30pm, managed to catch a movie,the whole day schedule was really packed. The movie was okay.....no surprises......certain parts a bit slow.......

"Mummy 3"

Spent a night at Ridwana & Zahir's place, due to the warmness recently, I slept on the couch.

It was comfortable though.....but slept late....after having a session with them while watching late night news....it's a packed but different Monday.

:>

Try

Today, I tried to try finish things that I was supposed to finish ages ago. I did some laundry......n did some unpacking......it's been almost 2 months I moved to this new place.....hmmm.....yeah.....almost 2 months.

So, if I can do some every night, then it should be done before my mom arrives.......my mom...frankly, I miss her.....hoping to see my family this weekend....we all love Ikea....hence Ikea it is....the place we're gonna spend our Sunday.....

Back to the cleaning part, until now, 11 plus....since afternoon.....my place is still a mess......but I managed to tidy some parts.......the tidy ones.........

some clothes

work clothes

Actually there are more.....lying in bags........some are on my bed.....some on the floor....






more clothes.....

some in the bags..........................
some other stuff.......







I decided not to show all............


It's like a hall of fame actually.....will continue the hardwork tmr.......hope so.



Another successful thing that I've done today is finish watching a HK drama-"Speech of Silence" which I love the theme song very much. After watching this drama, I realise even more things in life......but drop the realising part, guess my 1st post has covered enough of those......






"Speech of Silence"



Cast: Kate Tsui, Kenneth Ma, Chris Lai Lok Yi, Claire Yiu, Elaine Yiu, Kingdom Yuen

Episode: 20

Producer: Tsui Yue On

Scriptwriter: Ng Shiu Tung & Tsui Tze Shan

Synopsis

Taste the bittersweet, breathe the love.Read my mind between silence and sound.
TONG TONG (Kate Tsui) loses part of her hearing in an accident but she has a positive attitude towards life and she knows how to take good care of others. With the support of her mentor KO MING (Yue Yeung), TONG becomes a voice over talent by utilizing her lip reading ability and she meets another voice talent LEUNG KAI YIN (Kenneth Ma) who also has keen interest in the industry. YIN is fond of the leading voice actress YUEN SIU NA (Claire Yiu) and he asks TONG to be his matchmaker. TONG suffers from a lack of confidence to exhibit her love to YIN so she prefers to help achieve his wish.
YIN and TONG soon become the famous couple of the industry and their career grows swiftly. However, TONG’s younger sister CHAI KA YEE (Elaine Yiu) suddenly commits suicide after losing her love. In order to rescue YEE, TONG loses her hearing completely. YEE is deeply ashamed for causing the tragedy and CHEUNG YAU (Chris Lai) consoles her whole-heartedly. After the trauma, TONG abandons herself completely and she hides away from everybody including YIN. During the time, MING’s voice over team suddenly breaks up and YIN is the only person staying behind. MING is helpless and he urges TONG to return.

It's a nice drama....short and sweet.....and the ending is good but in a way, it's cynical.....not Hollywood style......my next mission to be accomplished.....Sex n the City......done with season 1 & 2, hope 2 finish the 3rd season after I get my DVD player.....very soon.

the dvd was put aside cuz the DVD player is not here yet...



In conclusion, rarely,a Sunday at home........with some achievements.....and some happiness.
Cuz I did try.

Realise

I always feel that, taste is the stairway to happiness. That's why I love to eat.....and for sure drink.

My meal doesn't have to always comes with a drink, but an after-drink is always a necessity. The drink is either coffee or wine, or both. When I wanna get more awake when I'm awake, it's coffee......when I wanna get more sleepy when I'm sleepy, it's gonna be wine....

Or put it in another way, coffee comes in the morning and work and whenever I don't have enough money for alcohol at night......where wine is always always for nights...lonely nights, sobbing nights, gathering nights, emotional nights, peaceful nights, grateful nights......

Recently, I realise pretty much things that I never realise before. I realise that I've been putting too many important people behind, those who really love and care about me....many essential things are left behind too......my leisure pursuit especially.......

However, I think I'm a very sensitive person....only when it comes to certain situation.....special situation. Which means, most of the time, still, I'm very careless. I used to leave a whole page of questions out for my exam once just because I didn't flip through the particular page. I used to forget the date I got together with my ex, even for my ex best friend's birthday.....and even mixing up my own birthday celebrations venues for a few years.

Though I'm aware of the blurness and carelessness, I always still voice out LOUDLY how sure I am right in front of the others. I was spoilt, not with choices, but with people. People who once made me believe that we're all gonna live and die together, grow old together, maybe can even stay together after I get married. I guess that's why I was devastated when I started to realise..........really realise.....

There's when and where I started to realise I have to start realising......to pack up my life.

After the incident when I was drunk, things changed.....from A to Z. To pick up, it's really heavy, really heavy, and now.....still picking up the leftovers. Memories still hit me in my dreams, when I wake up in the mornings, before I sleep, when I look out from the window.

Yeah, packing up and picking up do make me stronger. I think I'm stronger, not about the shallow tears, but by having stronger relationships with people who provide me stronger feeling and trust.

Shallow tears, it doesn't mean that you're not strong....it's just about the art of shedding tears.....even when I watch Grey's Anatomy.....about this....the ending part of Season 3....without exaggerating.....I've watched it close to a hundred times....and cried everytime.....but then, later I realised the saddest part is not the ending, whereas is a small part before the ending which is the saddest....the part where a girlwho woke up memories lost n undergo a massive plastic surgery for recovery thought that she doesn't have any1 in her life, no one comes to look for her.....no identity because her previous face was unrecognised.......till a surgical intern gives her a new identity, builds her confidence......n the husband appears....she refuses to go back..... she chooses to stay with the new identity.....leaving the husband behind although her memories then come back. But, the intern, with doubts, turns her down. To me, that's very sad.....cuz when you thought you've already ready, you packed up and left all your doubts behind to make your stand, he then abandons it. Just because he said so.

Throughout the part, where I believe I'll still cry in the future......countless times....now and then, I learn to appreciate. Be grateful, be thankful......cuz at least, I have the others.

Got to admit, all these years, this is so far the hardest time in my life. My car, in the workshop for almost half a year, after getting it back....due to my carelessness again, it's back to the workshop. But then, I realise something new again.

I know there's nothing anymore, between us, and we don't, cannot and never will care about each other anymore. Always thought it would be harder for him, it won't be me, but obviously, it turns out not. Something, deep down, deep down inside, is still healing.

Hope it's gonna be like a factory where there's always a due date for the products......so since the product is abandoned before it's finished and before it's expired, we'll jus sit and wait till the expiry date comes....and then it'll for sure has to be thrown away. Cuz now, even I know, it's disposed, it's still within the expiry date, and that's why, I'll wait, till it gets better in time.