Cambodia (3)

Hmmm......how to start this 1?

I drank on Fri nite.....again.....but this 1 is realy.....hmmm...bad....
Asahi beer, 3 killing Cosmopolitans,Moet champagne, Singapore Sling, whisky.....
Gone.....Sat morning was realy realy sick......puked basically everything dat I put into my stomach.....

But after a long sleep after half-day work, it gets better......ehehehheee...
Self-control, dats what I'm lack of and need to realy learn about it and change.....

Change.....if I can......how I wish I could.....I would'nt have want to make any changes.....
But when one grows, changes actually are already happening....each and every day....

Being in Cambodia, working in a different environment, talking to more new people.....
make me feel realy smal......the world is juz...........so big......so many more things are there, waiting for you to discover them........and when I looked back at all the silly things dat I've done, I realy feel bad......feel bad of realising and growing so slow.......

Sometimes I juz feel dat...why can't we grow up faster?
Why can't we realise before we realise it's too late to realise?
Why can't we do things that we wun regret in future?
Why can't we juz live happily ever after?

This trip.....actualy is kinda a run-away trip.....sometimes we juz need to runaway....and miss the people ard you....so when u find urself tired alredi......u'll come home and look for the right people for treatment.....it's like a package....now my stage is a treatment stage.......

Searching for more.....waiting for more.....hope for more......I know we can't be greedy all the time.....and sadly, I am a greedy person....I always want to do realy a lot of things in my life....and honestly, I'm a person who's never satisfied wif my life.....always wanted more and more and more............

Maybe dats how I create more problems which I dun even realise and for sure, duno how to solve them.

Dats y I said yes to this trip once I was told.............clear your mind and go on.....
I'm already half way there.....but the time I come home, it would be realy gone.....realy.....things are realy gona be all settled......and gone.......

This is the period I gave myself...........dun take too much time.....as life's realy short....dun stop a t a point for too long before u realise it's a waste of time.

As long as I know I'm still breathing, I can still chase for things I want..........
Everything, I want to start it now.....
I don't want to do things that I'll regret again....noy anymore.........

Hence, changes is what I need now..............
If I can do this, nothing can be harder....I suppose............hehe

Even now, here, I got the chance to watch Grey's Anatomy season 4....hehe....continue my crying and sobbing over the episodes....sounds so silly.....these are the things which I dun wana change.....can't change being emotional I gues...........it's not good and healthy to change too much.....cuz then it's not you anymore...........

Keep breathing.....and goodbye to the people once I realy loved.............
My life's getting better.....I believe God knows.....God knows when's the time to offer you the chance when all bad things come together.....it's whether u take it a try or not......

You take it, get over it, you win.
You miss it, ruin it, you lose.

Here we go again, I always wana to win, there's where the greedy personality comes in......
Hehehhheee.....

Even the last phone call, I couldn't help shedding my tears, then I know I'm not fully okay..........
Hope the run-away is gona work out......

Live an inspirational life.........dats wat I want now.......so I'm gonna do this n make sure no regrets......


*Try to listen to this track, it realy helps......for me...it works all the time.
Ingrid Michaelson-Keep Breathing